It was one of those nights when i wished.To hope.
Anyways. Security is the KEY!~ says a law enforcer about what a girl needs. Funny this is, maybe just me.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Thought I din't look too bad here. Yea narcissism crawls around that remark :). I may be the only brave/stupid soul to where sneaks on that day. When i arrived on that day Jimmy Kang caught me and asked "You're not going up on stage right?". "What you think?". And I walked off. Haha yea. I think my tolerance or will or hopefulness or whatever you want to call it is pretty high. I think it's the only think that makes me able to put up with my own failures. And i guarantee you, I fail on a regular basis. But hey, what the fuck right. If it gets me to where I want to be, then let it be. I'm only saying this because I feel good about myself today. Haven't felt so in a long time. Yeap today has been a good day. Can't say the same for my boss though. Seems like he's been having it rough. Think it's not really a good idea to be working so closely with your significant other. Their arguments are getting more intense. Made me wonder if they're serious or not. But when I think further, I believe serious people have serious arguments. Makes it more seriously real. Serious shit. I want to get another transformer. Should have gotten Rachett. Maybe my next pay? And also the old school Optimus Prime masterpiece edition or whatever. Saw it today. Looks cool. Don't really like the new one. Oh Bumblebee ultimate version is coming to Toys"R"Us come August. Made of metal I think. It be nice if somebody can buy me one. Heh. Oh, and I also sorta want a scarf hmm. On the way home today i was crooning to HIM pretty loudly. I'm sure everyone around had sore ears.

Hold me like you held onto life
When all fears came alive and entombed me
Love me like you loved the sun
Scorching the blood in my
Vampire heart~

Woke up from a dream just now. that left me waking up a little depressed and lost for awhile. i do not like what the future looks to me right now.

Chadam Lives.

To anyone who can get me a Chadam t-shirt, you my best friend.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=129265927

Ha ha heah. Loving this song bobbing my head like the ad and pulling my unlike the ad hair. so fun.

Ever had the time where, when you get home you just feel like tearing everything down? I don't know for what reasons but you just feel like it. And so it happened to me tonight. I got home saw the mess on my table grabbed a trash bag and start filling it up. I don't know what i threw. hope nothing valuable. Saw my gadgets.... no i dint throw those away. too expansive. Threw 2 old bags away. Many many cds. Useless i hope. Empty pokka bottles which i have alot lying around. How many will i get selling these plastic? Ok i din't tear anything down but throwing tearing pft what's the diff. After that i sit infront of my comp and start tabbing sites of high frequency. Deleted all pictures in my Friendster account but left a new picture. Tiny picture of Mr CubeHead. yea stupid maybe will just upload new pictures if any in near future. All my illegally downloaded movies. deleted it all away. will regret that later. Right. that's that. I mean seriously how many times must i feel so defeated at the end of the day.when walking to train from office, saw many people, realised how lonely i am. how gray i must look among the brightly coloured. no wonder i get so jaded so easily so often. pft. so i feel i screwed up at work. wonder if there's gonna be any dire consequences. tomorrow will tell. I don't care this weekend i'm gonna do something life threatening.

Friends tell me it's spring
My windows show the same
Without you here the seasons pass me by
I know you were not new
That loved like me and you
All the same I miss you
Today has been ok

- Today has been ok, Emiliana Torrini

I'm terribly tired. 1 becomes 2, many became blurred. Rather mundane, anchored on the swivel chair trying to make sense of what is to be expected. Then it came, that has so many times before. But never fail to sink me in. I shrugged it away. I had to. Or i will never get things done. Not now maybe later. A break came? But too high a price. Mis-said or too jaded to think?I tolerate. No not tolerance. Just dismissal. yea whatever. Saw a familiar scene today, made me smile. Not because they were funny or stupid. But because it is so familiar. Reminding me of my own. I inhaled and it felt soo good. Just for awhile and it becomes blurry again. yea rather eventful week.fullstop.

Cryptic, i dont even know hell whatever.